Dealing with emotions

I was trying to post something every day. That didn't work out now did it? NOPE! But I will try to get a little posted tonight. The house is quite and it seems that everyone is asleep but me. Of course my lovely granddaughter is asleep right now. That is why it seems so quite now. My husband, Craig, rocked Austin asleep. You see even though she is 7 years old, we still have to rock her to sleep. She has never gone to bed in her bed when it is bed time. We've tried believe me. But it's something with her emotions now and getting into her bed in her own bedroom. She doesn't have a problem with sleeping with us however. Say IF she has a little girl that is coming over for a "sleep over", she can go to the bedroom and sleep. She has her little tantrums too. I shouldn't call what she has tantrums. She has a lot or rag in her sometimes. I'm sure it' from what she was exposed to as a baby. Her mother left her at 13 months old, just took the three olest kids, Jessie, Johnny and Allie. She moved from California to outside of Reno, NV. Just left Austin in Ca. with her daddy, who was working about 16 hours a day. He couldn't pay for child support and hire someone to watch Austin too. Austin's Uncle Bill was her babysitter for a while too.
I'm so sleepy I'll have to finish this tomorrow....until them..

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More on Raising a Granddaughter

I will try to continue to let you know what it is like on a daily basis to raise our lovely, but very much troubled granddaughter. The reason I say 'troubled' is, she has so many emotional problems due to the neglect and abuse she suffered as a baby. She is diagnosed with RAD, which stands for 'reactive attachement disorder', ODD, "oppositional defiance disorder", PTSD, "post traumatic stress disorder", ADHD, "attention defficient hyperactive disorder" and she was sexual abused or witnessed sexual overtones as a baby that traumatized her. She was also born with sleep apnea, and now uses a CPAP machine at night time to keep her breathing. She was subjected to drugs, alcohol and both parents smoking heavy when her mother was pregnant and after she was born. Neglect, I don't know how to even start. But RAD, the reactive attachment disorder is by far the worse she can be diagnosed with. You see RAD is more or less found in children that are adopted due to they are left in an orphanange in a bed or play pen unattended for long periods of time and sometimes not even cared for, fed or even changed, crying. You can forget the cuddle holding loving caring that normal parents give babies when they plan for them. These children are the worse neglected children in the world. Normally in a third world adoptive place the kids are just left wet, hungry, crying all day in their crib/bed. They have abandoment issues with having no human contact for long periods of time. This too can happen in America, if the parents neglect the child. Mothers normally are the ones that get custody of their birth children, so you would figure they would be the nurturing, loving mothers that God meant for them to be...Not necessary! Some of the birth mothers can neglect, forget, not feed, not care, not love, not even want to take care of the most wonderful gift from God, a baby. If this happens, even here in America a baby can be diagnosed with RAD, which is one of the diagnoses my granddaughter has. She was diagnosed with 'failure to thrive' when she was only 16 months old. Her "birth mother" had her living with her, but she failed to fed her or not feel her enough. She would leave my beautiful granddaughter in a play pen and give her a small little snack bag of cereal and a bottle for her food for all day. Even as a baby, she left her in a car seat all day and night. She was left to sleep, eat and play all by herself in the car seat from the time of her birth almost until she was old enough to be put in a play pen. The mother had my granddaughter in her home, along with all the other children she has. The older kids, older ones, half brother and sisters of my granddaughter, could fend for themselves, but as a baby you depend on your mom normally to feed, bath and take care of you. It was left up to the older children, and we're only talking about kids that were 6, 5, 3 years old taking care of my baby granddaughter. The sister that is right before my granddaughter, she would bring cereal or crackers to my granddaughter, her baby sister's play pen so the baby could have some food to eat. You just don't leave a baby in a play pen, or car seat all day crying, not caring or nurturing them. At age 13 months old, my granddaughter's own birth mother just abandoned her, took the three older children and moved to another state, leaving the baby with her daddy, my son. I'm not trying to make an excuse for my son, my granddaughter's father, but he worked about 15 or 16 hours a day. She was left with whomever could watch her for the day, as he couldn't afford to pay child support and day care both. That is when my husband and I stepped in and went from the state we lived in at the time, Arizona, and drove over to California, to pick up my granddaughter and bring her back to our home to take care of her. After all, her mom wasn't even really taking care of the older three kids she had taken with her to yet another state, Nevada. Here my son, my granddaughter's daddy, lived in southern California, the mom lived in Nevada with the older 3 siblings at the time and we had Austin, our dear, precious granddaughter, in Tucson, Arizona with us. We would take her back and forth to California every other week. We made sure we got permission from the parents stating we could have her in Arizona, for we did not want them saying we had taken her without their permission. As you see at that time my husband was in the military, Air Force. We had just moved back to the United States in Aug. 2001 from living in Germany for almost 6 years. That was the only "alone time" my husband and I have had since we have been married now going on 22 years. Remember we had my two boys, age 9 and 11 years old when we got married back in 1987. They grew up, moved out, joined the military, served their time and got out, started a family without the sacraments of being married. I think that is one reason what is wrong in the world today. It is just too darn easy to start a family and not be married, and even if you're married, it's just too easy to get divorced here in America at least I think. That is my own opinion, but if you're married, then you should have kids, not the other way around. Have the kids, and then maybe and that is a BIG maybe get married. Most of the time that marriage won't work out. For you really haven't given a thought to what God has asked of us and what 'Godly Laws" we should be obeying. Again, another reason we should all try to express God's word to others. We should teach our children about God and His laws. Even though I did teach my own boys about God, and they even accepted HIM, I couldn't make them follow HIS path once they were out of my own home. My children were taught right from wrong and to love God with all their heart. To follow HIS directions and obey HIS LAWS. I have no idea where it all when wrong. But all I can do now is pray that they both of my boys get back on the righteous path and follow God's ways.
I will continue this tomorrow if I can get a chance to get back on here. If not, soon as I get some time, I'll let you know more. In the mean time, please pray for all the children that is brought into this world and just left unattended. These babies have never done anything to deserve a life of neglect. These are God's precious gifts, we should take care of them and love them, not just throw them away or neglect them.

Raising a granddaughter

Here I set finding myself thinking how in the world at my age (57) am I raising my 7 year old granddaughter? Well, it comes as no surprise that my husband (Craig) and I are. After all, I did raise my two grow sons, ages 36 and 33 years old, plus we were foster parents a year after we got married. Craig and I have been married for 22 years. I was married before and my sons are the product of that marriage. When Craig and I married, it was in 1987, my sons were 9 and 11 years old. Craig, you see, has never been married and has had no children of his own. So we thought when we finished raising my two sons they would be out on their own, and we'd be that "honeymoon" couple starting like brand new without kids. NOPE...that was not to be. We did get about 6 years 'what we call "alone" time' while we were stationed in Germany. Then we came back to the states in August of 2001 and Austin, our granddaughter was born 20 Dec 2001. It came to be that her parents couldn't take care of her and we to court and won legal permanent guardianship over her at age 3. It was a long hard road to take on a young child at our ages, but we loved her so very much. We wanted to show her what it was like to grow up in a stable home and have two people around her all the time that love her so very much. So as you see, I'm 57 and Craig is 49, with a 7 year old granddaughter to raise. We do have a 13 year old grandson, Jesse. He lives with his mom and step dad in Maryland. He is the product of my oldest son and Austin is the product of my youngest son. Seems different, as I raised my sons to fulfill their responsibilities especially when they produce children. God wants them to raise their own children, enjoy the pain and joy of watching a child grow up to adult hood. But since some parents can't do that, that is the reason most grandparents, like us, step in and take over the responsibility. It is truly a pleasure to see her grow, but it is painfully to see how emotionally damaged she was during this whole thing with her parents. I know that God has so much in store for Craig and I. HE has so much in store for Austin too. She is a precious angle in disguise.